I Want My Bed Back!

Blogger: Mary Helen Uusimaki.
At 6:30am my cell phone broke the silence of the quiet morning with its daily wake-up call…
Hey Soul SisterI roused but the sound, it seemed to be coming from far away. I reached over to hit snooze only to discover that there was no phone buzzing on the nightstand, rather I was face to face with Stuart!

YIKES, what is going on here? Then it all came back to me as I sat up, cracking my head so hard that I saw stars. I was on the bottom bunk of my son’s bed, legs tangled in angry bird flannel sheets (I loathe flannel sheets by the way) and I was greeted by a small village of stuffed animals. 

Yes, I remember now. I had sought refuge here. I was forced to escape the two wriggling, twisting, mouth breathing, cover and pillow stealing munchkins who had invaded my bed around 3:00am.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I love more than snuggles with my amazing kiddos but I have created two monsters. They have decided that they want us to all sleep together… one big happy family. Sorry folks, we don’t fit! A queen bed is made for two! Sure, there are pros and cons to co-sleeping and it works for some families — but it has never been something we consciously did in our house. Really, co-sleeping usually meant we all fell asleep and I didn’t have the energy or the wherewithal to carry them down the hall. I will shamefully admit that I often initiate the extra snuggle time because I simply can’t get enough of them. I have a little, ok a lot, of working mom’s guilt!

BUT, years have passed and these kids are getting BIG. Anytime someone has a bad dream, hears thunder, gets lonely, or just feels like it… they climb into bed with me, take my pillow (which is absolutely AMAZING) and turn my sweet slumber into something resembling the WWE Friday Night SmackDown. Long skinny limbs fly through the air at regular intervals.

Was that a foot that just knocked me on the head? An elbow? Likely both.

I love my children but people, I want my bed back. They are not little anymore and they are taking over! They snore, they twist and turn and kick and… it’s time. I’m pulling rank!

So here are some tips from Dr. Phil if you find yourself in the same situation.

  • Discuss the issue during daylight hours — not at bedtime
  • Get kids excited about the independence of sleeping in their own room
  • Make a game out of it, giving them gold stars or rewards for making progress
  • Make it clear that your bedroom is off limits
  • Start a new habit of going into your child’s room and reading a bedtime story — but do not sleep there
  • Comfort your child by being available, but allow co-sleeping only on special circumstances

In a short time, children will develop their own methods of soothing themselves and feel safe, secure and comfortable under their own covers!

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